The heart needs a home.

For a long time now ,I am  homelessly meandering trying to make a home
where ever I am ,forgetting that no one wanted me to make my home ,in their space.
No ,I donot decry that nor do I not understand that ,it's normal ,it is done ,I do not fight
what is ,I see ,and I totally understand ........
Then what is the problem?
Well, it's the heart ,which needs a place to come back to ,to belong.
The flip side is the world is my oyster,I should be blissfully happy
the attachment of one particular place ,not there,
But how do you make your heart see this without a cry.
It has never given me much needs ,this the heart needs
A home to come back to ,the warmth of the silent welcome ....enveloping your whole being..
Not a cold unwelcome ....wanting to be invisible feeling......
The spoken words not synchronising.......with what is in the heart.....
May this cup pass quickly,but not as I will but as thou willeth.
Thank you.Amen.

The Tea ritual.......

I never needed great things to make me happy,but the little things of life done with a lot of love gives me a lot of joy ,literally my cup runneth over.my heart feels happy.

One such pleasure giving ritual is my tea time.now it is night 22:30 hrs and I just felt like having tea.

I used to have tea with cakes,biscuits ,small sandwiches.......once upon a time .but now it's just tea

Boiled water.....soak the green tea,and pour ....drink ,as if it is mana.enjoy every sip,look at the tea,

Take your time to sip ,let the mouth soak in the fragrance ,take it in .its an art ,enjoying tea ........

Art less art.

Since its just tea ,the tea has to be good quality ,and to respect that quality ,the cup has to be a beautiful fine bone china.the whole thing is subtle and very pleasing to the eyes .my tea ritual.

I love tea.my idea of heaven would be ........rain with lightening and thunder,room with the fragrance of fresh flowers....Mogra ,ideally ,a ghee Diya burning at the altar,a good book to read 

Classic preferably,and a pot of good tea.thats the ultimate adda with the self.

Thank you.Shalom.

Peace be with you.

I SHALL RISE

And I shall rise.

I was alone and could not understand the games played on me ...but that did not get me down 

No matter what life holds for me palatable or otherwise 

No matter how long it takes ,with how much effort ,

I will quietly listen to my heart ,will listen and wait 

And I shall rise.

No one can put me out ,no ,no one can suppress who I am 

What I stand for ,what I believe in ..............

I shall rise.

Never mind how tough the going gets,

How uneven my path becomes,

 Ishall not give up ,I will press on

I shall rise.

Never mind if all leaves me ,none stand by me 

I know I am right ,I will not deviate from my path

I shall not be manipulated by the so called greats 

I will stand alone to wither all the storms,as long as I am right 

I shall rise.

Some day my shepherd will come ,I believe ,with all my being,

Then all my needs will be fulfilled .........

I shall rise. 

Thank you. Shalom.

Green Fingers.

The rainy season is at its peak ,it has been my favourite season for as long as I can remember ,always loved walking in the rain,then the realisation dawned on me that the people who live in houses other than the concrete ones must be most uncomfortable in the rains ,my mind balanced out,I still love the rain but at the same time I pray people are not inconvenienced ,and the street animals find shelter.
Rainbows .....are my favourite sight ,I do not know why it gives me Hope .....hope of a better future.
The most wonderful thing is gardening ,this is the Natures gift for planting ,rain washes away all the dirt and the whole atmosphere is clean and fresh to start afresh ,new blossoming.
People say ,I have green fingers .......... I do not know what that means....I only know my garden  thrives.In every weather plants will survive. Soil may be poor ,not airy enough,yet bulbs shoots and unfolds .Defying all pests attact ....seeming to grow with miraculous powers.as if magically charmed.
Why I ask ? Do I know ?why it will grow and not die.
They feel ,yes they understand ,THE  LOVE  IN THE  TOUCH  OF  A  HAND...........

Flowers ,plants ,trees  actually teach us   Acceptance.They stand in all conditions  in Silent  self Giving,Demanding  Nothing In Return.

Put them in doors ,in rooms and the room becomes Alive.

 O! I So Love This Natures gift To Us.

Birthday-the significance.post 2.

I wrote a long piece of celebrations for birthdays and the festivals that I celebrate and published ,to my horror found more than half missing and I could not retrieve it.Now I do not have the zeal to write
all over again.so I am just writing the significance of my birthday to me.
Birthday  is truly an opportunity to assimilate all that we should ,and we know --we are open and receptive  ,it is like a new birth ,born again in our heart to growth and completeness,let the light ,
Presence ,love,peace harmonise the inner with the outer existence in one movement and expression.
This is what we should feel every morning when we wake up and be grateful for another day of opportunity to walk in the path of Love.But the birthdays every year has to aspire and inspire
trust in the Divine .
Thank you. God bless.

Birthday. The significance.

Well ,my birthday is coming and the child in me is counting the days .I remember the kids used to start getting excited from a month on ,and the count down starts,keep me updated how many days left for the D day.I liked watching them  then and still do ,this I know is not just them its every child all over the world has the same happiness around their birthdays.
All the special birthdays that we know of ,of the masters,and special personalities ,that we celebrate are also an occasion of happiness ,giving, receiving,special foods ,guests a whole some blissful day.
We are told on these days the atmosphere is of a different kind ,it is peaceful,enveloped in love ,grace
Pouring .I have always felt this ,and celebrated all the birthdays that I know of .We always celebrated
Swami Vivekananda 's birthday i.e.12th January,I wear white the colour for that day
Maker shankranti on the 14th of January ---this .....
happens to be my younger daughter's birthday.....so bright happy colours ,she is a happy person.At 4years of age she asks Who am I ?
Then Basant Panchami which falls around 3rd. week of January to beginning of February.we worship Goddess Saraswati on this day too.This is also a famous sat guru RamChandraji of fategarh birthday.The colour we wear on this day is basanti /yellow ,the spring yellow.
Then comes holi ,the festival of colours ,this falls in the first half of the month of March ,.we wear pink on this day. I am not giving dates for most of the celebrations because  the Indian calendar does not have a fixed day.
 Shiv ratri......that  is also very dear to me ,used to stay awake the whole night and pray,do Japa.
We wear earthy mustard or rudraksh colour.
Ram Navami / Navaratri of Goddess Durga ,lots of lovely foods, sweets,meditation,Japa,prayer ,a very holy period .....it usually coincides with the Jewish Passover ,Christian Lent,Muslim ID.
A very Holy ,grace filled period.we  wear Red. The dress code that I am writing about is my own ritual nothing to do with any known custom.
Then comes Hanuman jayanti /. Mahavir Jayanti.happy days lots of  puja, sweets .I wear green.
Bengali New Year .....which is usually on the 14/15th of April .One day before is Baisakhi.so very festive again.I wear pista green ....letting the New blossoming of the heart to happen.
1st. Of May the Labour Day ,I celebrate  the beauty of work,the people who make our life easier ,I celebrate them .By prayer,and giving .

Bell.the Church bell.

The sound of the church bell ,touches some place so deep in me ,so pure,
always gives a feeling of peace,love,and as if the heart expands.
everything is sacred.I did not live in a place where I heard the church bell,but I used to keep playing
The sound of music ,the part where Mariah is blissfully lost in the nature up the mountain and suddenly the sound of the bell ringing penetrates to her.
I do not even know how many times I used to hear that and get lost in the beauty of the sound.
There is a true story a nun friend of mine had told me,in a small hilly village of Europe two men used to come home after drinking and every night they used to pass the church .As they passed the bell would ring ,it was a regular  happening and as we know nothing is an accident .They both joined the monastery .And it was quite a reflection on those days .Some visitor to the monastery asked the Father if this was a story or truth ------and the Father while walking around  said yes it was the truth
Pointed to a grave and said one lies here and you are looking at the other.
So the sound of the bell  does  touch something Holy in us. It never fails to  stir me and I am sure it has the same effect on all who hears,    Hears.
Thank you .peace be with you.

Calling on love.

Love.........

The word which makes me happy ,gives me hope.
Most used word and least understood.
Love ,as I say it  ,gives a wonderful feeling of peaceful vibration .
It is such a powerful word,I would like to modify that ,not powerful in
the worldly sense ,but powerful in a very subtle way ,you cannot do it
But by practicing love you can become love ,and the best thing is you can go on giving ,sharing -
love and it does not deplete -like the ocean take any amount of water from it does not dry up.,
Love attracts love.love can conquer  all.
Love can never fail,it is the answer for every malice in the world.
It can be called on ,just like that -as simple as that.
Life is simple , so the apparatus to run it is also simple.
Animals too respond to love ,
We come from love go back to love ,

Whatever will be will be.

Today from early morning - my early morning means 3:30a.m. this old song was playing  in my head que sera sera ,you know ,sometimes suddenly a very old forgotten line just crops up in you and that's when you realise that's what you needed to assimilate at that point, instantly everything becomes so light,and happy and you feel what is the point of thinking -que sera sera whatever will be will be ,the future is not ours to see. you get on with whatever is at hand and do it with lots of love  and a spring in your feet.The knowing and accepting that in reality nothing is in your hand  and you can not control everything, and letting go ,accepting  every situation as it is - is such a  exhilarating  feeling, a
sense  of peace and freedom.you know where you should focus  your energy and get on with your everyday life .         Thank you.    Peace be with you.

Soar

Soar.......

Many a times ,have I been contemplating.....

What is it my heart wants ........needs.....yearns......for?

At last found what makes my heart ...sing.....


SOAR...... It  needs to soar.....unhindered,beyond boundaries ,transcend prejudice,

penetrating all barriers.just  encompassing all .what freedom .

Harmony.

Harmony-am I in harmony with the outer and the inner self?
This question has been the hallmark of my life ,every time a path has to be taken this comes up ,will this keep me in harmony with myself?or I will be scattered?that will never do for me no matter what price I have to pay I need to be gathered and be in harmony.it always comes back from every banishment.what ever  churning  happens inside me cannot be  ignored has to taken  up seriously and sorted out. The only way that works for me  is to write ,write,write, till things get crystal clear and the feeling of peace comes .then and then alone am I in harmony with me.

The wonderous leaves of India.

15-09-13.

Went to the heart of Chennai ....... Mylapore .

What an experience  driving beside the  sea side first to an old school .this is the old residential areas of Chennai.that quaint  old world charm, crowded lanes , surrounded by temples, temple bells chiming away somewhere in the back ground,small shops overloaded selling all most all the things one can need. Hawkers galore ,went to the Shri Sai baba of shirdi temple.very old and wonderfully built.got the books of baba I wanted.

Then to kapaleshwar  temple tank area for food at the old Saravana hotel.what gastronomic delight that was ,tasted Adai for the first  time.

Then came the most delightful bangle shop full of coloured glass bangles ,this I cannot resist so got some churis for  my daughter n I .some very colourful bindis for tanaya my first born.felt happy.the whole street was full of treasures in small shops ,with clay golus  displayed on both sides of the street 

harkening  Navaratri.what festive atmosphere.the  earthen ware shop has a special charm for me ,so I cannot not mention it full of lovely Diyas of different shapes and sizes

Then the most refreshing thing on the little cart ,a cart full of  Indian herbs ,o! It was a sight for sore eyes, so many different kind of leaves of variety of colours,all shades of greens and red ,the smell of them was divine.It took me back to my childhood day ,of Ma's wonderful chorchoris and  Labras,and chachras.which I always ran away from but now miss her and all that she cooked and stood for.Life  really teaches you things you never knew existed,and love teaches to forgive.may all who read this get the vibration of love .love you Ma n Baba.

Got a lot of thankuni. Pata for my grandson eight month old Devaraj ,puidatas,meethi patas,lalsaag.
My heart was singing with joy.Sure my mother was smiling at me from a far away cloud.
At present I am staying with my younger daughter in Chennai.


Happy Onam to all.God bless. Thank you.

Ode to the mountain.

         Ode  to this beauty.

My heart sings to be here.In this fabulous Holy land of the saints and God.
I am at a loss for words ,to sing the praise that becomes you,it's like showing light to the sun.
Anything that I  say or want to say has been said before,but that does not say I will not say what my heart cannot stop saying.
You do not need any great enlightened personality to feel the Vibration  of this  great mighty mountain ,it's Holy ,you feel your strength comes from it.
It's like walking on Holy grounds here.
Each step that I take I feel blessed,the air -I breathe,the wind  that. Touches  my  skin makes  my heart  sing with joy  and a whispering hope.my heart runneth over,from the very depth  of  my being I  
bow to thee.The queen Majesty ,my Mother Land.O!Mother I am blessed Iam  on your soil. My shepherd calling me  from the Hills.O! Mighty  Mountains  accept  my heart felt  love ,my heart  is happy in your Presence .My love to you o mighty one.

     
    Thank you.

Back to the plains.

Back to the plain with swami Vivekananda in my heart and mon cholo nijo neketane whispering in my ears ,pinning away for the pines and the oaks ,its like some one is tearing at my heart.There are  many a pain which is too deep for tears.
To get back to normalcy I hit on Jane Austen ,my all time favourite author ,saw Pride and prejudice and Jane Eyre.I am not here yet.I leave it to time , will be done in its own time.
 I was at satkhol in the Himalayas for a retreat .words cannot define what it's like there.Its magestic ,beautiful  suddenly the regular life stop touching you.In the presence of such magnificence every thing else is details,as if  the strength of the Mountain percolates your being and you are awed at being a part of this  wonderous  beauty .No matter how small you are a part of all this,I am grateful to

Be just Be.thank you.God bless.