Transition.....

Revelations are wonderful and some are such that shakes you to the core..back of my mind I always had this thought running ,but I did not really let it come to the fore or stop to think on it...but it was there nagging for a long time now......
After the morning meditation today,it just stood in front of my eyes and exploded clearing it's way and revealing itself.....
Growing up getting my way,very strong likes n dislikes...getting the best ,as I understood...then my  life takes a 180degrees turn ....rocking sea change...a long time inside of me I did not know if I was coming or going ....what was going on....
Amazingly....nothing happened to me.....
I did not go mad? Did not go into depression ? Did not get suicidal?did not fight ?
Why?
Today it was clearly opened to me...revealed...
In the inner wisdom which works on us ....knowingly or unknowingly .....
Never ever did I really belong here or anywhere.....I never thought or believed  this is it...every single moment of my life journey ,I knew( without knowing ),this is not it .....NETI   ! NETI  !
That's the reason I was never one with my situation ....never soaked in it .....so,there was never a mental breakdown.....because it did get to me .....unknowingly I lived a life of -This Too Shall Pass -
Here is not where I belong....
I am in transit.....
Hallelujah......
Truth is one ..truth does not change.....if its true today .....it will be the same always......if this is  the truth ....where is the fight? Where is the protest? Why resist ?
What ever is ....whatever is going to be....the only Mantra is Accept ...Accept ....Accept ....what ever comes your way ....grab it with love ....go through .....don't be a part of it....You are not This....
I remember a Master told me once:
Give it all to Him .
Keep going .
And Just Be...
I did not get it then .....but I know Now ...Thank you .
Be kind ....have courage ....have Faith in yourself....

Notuner choya

Aaj poyla Boishak.......

Bengali New year......

Esho he boishak esho esho.......tomake    Boron. Kori.....

Abar Elo notun ....eyi notuner choyaee bhoree uthuk pran mon....

Anek. Anek shubhechaa  to all.......

There. Are times when  you feel happy ,without  a reason ,usually when that happens to me I twirl,sing feel one with this whole Universe.......come to the conclusion that tar choya legeche.
Kaar choya?

Bhalobashar choya. There is a sacred corner in my heart where spring  never  goes ,n  That's my place

Of  retreat.Need to keep going there n renewing  Me,khoob jotone  gopone  takey rekhechi.My treasure.n it is said jekhane tomar treasure Tumar mon shekhanei thake.

Tai amar mon bhalobasaye  dubey thake ,tai amar  sompod  shetai ami  deyi.......

Hey. Thakurji  tomar choyaee  amake  amar moton koree dao,eitukui amar prarthana,


              Tumi chiro notun hoye

                Gopone  jotone amar  antare thako

                 Jar choyaee  bhore uthuk  sobar  jeevan.......






Love.   Shalom .

Dignity.....

The dictionary meaning being- the quality of being worthy of respect.....

Mother Teresa created a Home in Kalighat  for  the dying....so that....these poor unwanted people ,who were ill and dying on the road could  die in DIGNITY in this Home.

This  concept ofcourse  appealed  to me enormously but did not understand the meaning  of it in depth .which  was explained  to me in totality by Life last year-2013.
Now when I think about it - it's scary - back then it was moving from one point to the other ,or  from
One day to the other.

If anyone is to be accountable for the whole  uncalled  for  situation  it was  ----I.....

I in my  blind ignorance just took a step ,where there was no place for it......
No one gave me the assurance of welcome.....I just inferred. As if that was not bad enough .....I
Started to make myself at home....taking over the house .....so to say.

All the time blind to the fact that I was not wanted there......All the signs were  there  glaring  at me....
You. Are Not  wanted here.....Being ignored,Not acknowledging  my presence,keeping me waiting for ever,being told -who you think you are- Maharani..you are here so that you do not have to work,I will  take you back to the Ashram.....etc.  etc....etc....
What was it...?????
It was Inertia on my part - I understood in my head that this person ...I have been close to  and  shared
A lot  with ........the commitment remains the same on both sides -it does not .....
I am still stuck on it ....while the other has gone through a metamorphosis......
It  took me a whole year ....a good amount of being kicked around  and  a serious illness ....to get it....
Yes....I Got It.....
The question that keeps popping up in my heart.....Would .....I Do The Same .????
And the Answer Is NEVER......Not to any one....
My parents were ordinary people ....But ....to me they were the  greatest maharajas ....because they were my Parents ...that's how they were to me ....I felt that way towards them  while they were alive
And still do ....
This whole episode ,was ,to make me feel ,not worthy of respect.
It has given me a renewed respect for what Mother Teresa  did  for those unwelcome,unwanted people of the society by giving them a Home to Die in DIGNITY.....God  Bless Her......

Shalom ....Love to All.
Sheela..

Thanks giving.....

Thanks giving  just being celebrated....this idea has always appealed to me.....

Giving Thanks is a very humbling spiritual exercise  and each one needs to  have a day of their choice to be Thankful .well ,ofcourse  there is enough reason to be thankful all the time but if it's a day to chose ..... I would take the day when Lord Krishna gave the Geeta Gyan to Arjuna.
Geeta  is  relevant even today....Geeta literally speaks to you ....any question ,any difficulty ....go to Geeta ,read,  plunge in it and you come back calm ,serene,at peace,happy.
Just take a  dip in the Holy Geeta  and come out light n happy.
Here are some of my favourite  sayings  of The Lord ......
Sarva-dharma parityajya.   mam ekam saranam vraja
aham  tvam sarva-papebhyo.   moksayisyami  ma sucah.

This means....abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me,I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions .Do not fear.

sreyan sva dharmo vigunah.  Para dharmat sv anusthitat
Sva dharme nidhanam sreyah. Para dharmo bhayavahah.

This means ...it is better to discharge ons's prescribed duties ,even  though faultily,than another's  duties perfectly .destruction in the course of performing one's  own duty is better than engaging in another's duties ,for to follow another's path is dangerous.

To me it means always  do what your heart says , you  cannot be any one else or do things that are not yours.

Lord says ....we are all souls
The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon,nor burnt by fire,nor moistened by water, nor dried  by the wind.
I can go on and on ....but each should read and understand  personally.

So on the Geeta Jayanti day ....I call family ....n....friends. ...read the Geeta  together. And share a meal .And this is my Thanks Giving.thank you.
Shalom....Love to all .
Sheela.

Missing Home........

Nomo! Nomo! Nomoh ! Sundori momoh
Janani Janmobhumi...gongartir  snigdho somir  jibon jurale tumi..Aubarito maath ,gogono lolaat  chumey tobo
Podo dhuli.....
 This is how kobiGuru described your feeling towards your home......

Today  a friend ,who was in school with me called from heathrow  airport before starting for India ,
Specifically Kolkata.And  all my cajoling myself ........and   Staying  away from Kolkatta just went out of the window ......basically  due to work we came to Gujarat.....one thing led  to another and we
Settled here......but the heart is always always in Kolkatta.It is said that where your treasure is your heart will be there.......all my treasures are there ......it's my birth place ....my Janani .....my Janani Ma Kali is there too .Love everything about Kolkatta.......the people ,the place ,....the Food ......the essence of  Kolkatta......I can smell  Kolkatta .....I can feel Kolkatta.......Kolkatta is my heart.....Kolkatta is my religion........
Feel like developing a pair of wings and flying to Kolkatta......it is always  ...will always be associated    with my childhood ....the wonder years of awed respect for life .....churning of each feelings and emotions as growth in age and as human being blossomed in me ......all the dreams ....all the heart breaks ,......koto pawa ....koto harano.....koto  bojha ....koto chaoya.....I can go on and on ....Then suddenly  boom and Something came in to life in my being and reality dawned on me ....Where is home ? How can you miss home ? How can you miss you ? You are .....your home is  not outside but in you .......your heart.Happy home coming.love n Shalom.
Sheela.

11thoctober.

11th october -generally a very  ordinary day,a date in the year calendar- .......but for me this date is sacred......full of possibilities.....new opportunities.The day of my birth in this wonder filled world.
Every year is another new time ,a rebirth,a time to take stock of my being here , have I been able to
Come to love me.........?get more closer to the Self?more compassionate......?less judgemental?.....forgive  more.....?Pardon the past ....Correct the present....?

This is a day of being grateful  for getting another fresh opportunity.Am I comfortable in my skin? Has humility blossomed in me?
All I need to do is be me in all integrity .Just being Me - Sheela  .....in itself  is a miracle.
May that Dawn .
Amen ...love.  N  shalom to all.
Sheela.

Now.

In my musing suddenly a thought came to me.
That each moment in time is a new beginning, that is pregnant with possibilities. You can choose to be ,all that ,you can be.Nothing can stop you ,all you need is earnestness ,to ask with an undivided heart and live an integrated life.I have always felt ,we should accept what we have or are now ,live now with it with all our being ,in love .we do not have the luxury to want what we don't have and shun what we do have.accept what we have with all our getting,all our love.life becomes a wonderful journey,each moment becomes miracle.The Now is in function ,and ,we have won the game of life.